Twice in a Lifetime Read online

  I started eating. The food was decadently good, and I let out a noise that was almost embarrassing. “Exactly. I worry about my girls more than I worry about myself, honestly. But since my husband died, you’d be surprised at how many men think I should be grateful for their attention, especially at my age.” I paused, fork to my mouth. “Or maybe you wouldn’t.”

  A tiny smile quirked her full, lush lips. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” Her smile faded. “I know this is going to sound weird, but we’ve met before, haven’t we? I feel like we have, only I’m drawing a blank at where.”

  So much for my zing moment being something we’d shared. I’d put the Citizen’s Police Academy training on my application, but we hadn’t discussed it in detail during my interview. “We have. It’s been a while, though. I’m surprised you remember. I’m sure you meet a lot of people.”

  Her grin flashed again, and damn it, it still affected me. “I do. Are you going to tell me when and where? Or do I have to guess?”

  “I think you should guess.”

  This time she laughed outright. “We really are going to get along great. Clue me in, Talia.”

  I grinned back. “About fifteen years ago. You helped at the practical exercise day for the Citizen’s Police Academy class I took. You showed me how to fire a gun during our target practice. I kept missing the target completely and everyone in my group was laughing at me for being such a mess, so you got behind me and helped steady my stance.”

  I had never forgotten the feel of her body against mine, the heat of her chest against my back, even though we’d both been wearing body armor that day. Her hands had been warm and capable and strong, and her minty breath had fanned across my cheek. I’d been incredibly, blissfully married to Seth, but she’d made me think things I’d had no business thinking as a married woman. She’d made me wonder, for the first time in a very long time, What if?

  Her eyes widened, and she set down her fork and took a long swallow of her water. “Christ. I . . . Yeah. I remember now.” She blinked, picked up her fork again, and pointed it at me. “You did suck at that.”

  I snorted. “Which is why you’re the cop, and I’m the civilian.”

  “Good point.”

  Between bites of food, we got to know each other. I told her becoming a widow at forty-eight had knocked me for a loop, and how excited I was about this job and the new chapter in my life now that my girls were out and on their own, though I was looking forward to having them both home for the holidays. She told me how she’d started out as a beat cop right out of college, how she worried about her only child being deployed in a war zone, and how she couldn’t wait to see him when he came home on leave at Thanksgiving. Conversation flowed as though we’d known each other for years, and the half hour passed quickly. Eve paid the tab, and we left, making our way back to the police station. When we got there, I took off my jacket and sat, but Eve stayed on her feet.

  “I hate to do this to you on your first day, but I’ve got an unavoidable meeting from two until five. Can you answer the phones and take notes on what people are looking for? I’ll deal with it when I get back. I’d rather have them speak to someone than make them leave a voicemail. More personal, less bureaucratic. And check group email too. Respond if you can, and if you can’t, forward them to me.”

  “Answer phones? Send email? No problem.” I smiled at her. “You’re the boss, so you tell me what to do, and I do it, whatever it is.”

  It wasn’t until I caught her raised brow that I realized what I’d said, and heat rushed into my cheeks. But she let it slide, maybe because of her own unintended innuendo earlier. “Thanks, Talia. Don’t wait for me to get back, because it’s likely we’ll go past five.”

  I nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for lunch.”

  She picked up a thick folder from her desk and headed toward the door, then glanced back over her shoulder at me. “I’m glad to have you on board.”

  When I walked in the house after work, I found Lila sitting at the kitchen table, twisting paper napkins into confetti.

  My motherly instincts went on red alert. “You’re here early, honey. Is everything okay?”

  She wrinkled her nose—the one she’d gotten from Seth and shared with her sister and her cousins due to some seriously strong family genes—and stilled her hands. “Not really, no. I mean, nothing I haven’t heard a thousand times before, y’know? But I’m getting sick of it.”

  “Let me guess. A customer wouldn’t let you touch his stuff because you’re a woman.” Lila had worked for Seth’s brother for almost three years now and loved being part of a family business with her cousins—and breaking down stereotypes of what women could do—but she rarely went a week without a homeowner questioning her abilities.

  She wadded the shredded napkins into a ball. “Yep. And Uncle Noah had my back like he always does, but I hate that he has to do it. How long do I have to keep proving myself?” Before I could answer, she waved it away. “I know, I know. And I knew what I was getting into, but I like this work. I’m good at it too.” Her pretty blue eyes flashed and her chin went up. “I’m better at it than Jacob is. Even he says so.”

  Jacob was her cousin, Noah’s son. He’d never shown interest in being an electrician, but he’d once told her that, as the oldest, he’d felt like he had to join the family business. He’d been a straight-A student who had an affinity for numbers and was better suited to run the business, not do the field work. The sooner Noah pulled his head out of his ass, the better off they’d all be. I nodded, then kept prodding. “So, what else is bugging you?”

  More napkin shredding.

  “I went to surprise Ryan today because the job site was close to his office, and he always goes out for lunch at noon. I pulled up just in time to . . .” She hunched her shoulders and her eyes filled. “To see him in a lip-lock with some other woman.”

  If Ryan had been standing here with us, I would’ve given him hell for breaking my girl’s heart. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry.” I drew her to her feet and into a hug. “Did he see you?”

  She squeezed me once, really hard, then let go and paced the room. Of my daughters, Lila was the one who was always on the move. “He did. He seemed surprised I was upset. I don’t even know what the hell he was thinking.” She snorted. “Or maybe I do. She was gorgeous, tall, and model-thin with tiny but perky boobs. Pretty much everything I’m not.”

  My eldest child was barely five two and what Seth’s mother called zaftig. Her curves had curves, but she was beautiful—inside and out—and damn Ryan for making her feel bad about herself. “Perky boobs are overrated. They’ll sag eventually.”

  Lila laughed, as I’d hoped, but she was obviously hurt by his infidelity. Who wouldn’t be? They’d only been dating a few months, but I knew she’d thought maybe he would be the one. “Anyway, I told him to come get his stuff this weekend. I already texted Yas and Tee to come over at the same time so I don’t do anything stupid like take him back.”

  I hid a grin. The three were best friends and had been since middle school. In their teens, they’d protected each other from cruel classmates who’d taunted them for their otherness—Jewish girl, Muslim girl, gay Black girl. Many friends had come and gone, but Lila, Yasmin, and Tamara had stayed close, and I was grateful. “Good. But don’t let Yasmin near him. Didn’t she just get her third-degree black belt?”

  “Yep.” She rubbed her eyes and squared her shoulders. “So, enough about that. Tell me about your new job. How’s your boss?”

  I hugged her again, then nudged her to the fridge. “The job is good. Get some veggies out, would you? I’m making stir-fry with shrimp I picked up tonight.”

  She whirled toward me and gaped. “Shrimp? Mom, no.”

  I grinned. “Gotcha. I got chicken.” Seth and I had decided to raise our kids as practicing Jews, and that had included keeping a kosher house. He’d been more diligent about it than I was—he’d been raised that way, and I hadn’t—but I still tried my best, espe
cially around the girls.

  “That was just mean.”

  I opened a cupboard and pulled out my wok. “I know.”

  Lila giggled, and the sound warmed me. “Does your boss know you’re a smart-ass?”

  I laughed. “Oh, she knows. I think she’s the same way, so it should be a fun place to work.”

  Lila plopped half the contents of the vegetable bin on the counter. “Any hot cops out there? I mean, now that I’m single again?”

  The only one I noticed was her. I wasn’t ready to say that to my kid, so I reached out and tugged her hair. “I’ll keep my eyes open. But I have to warn you, your sister asked first.”

  “Hah. I talked to Rissa yesterday. Sounds like she’s digging her classes this semester. I was worried. She seemed stressed out about going back to school over the summer.”

  Yeah, I’d been worried too. My youngest child was an overthinker, and she’d convinced herself she should stay home and take classes locally. I knew, though, that she’d always wanted to go to Seth’s alma mater, and when she’d gotten in, it had been a Really. Big. Deal. Once I got her to understand we wanted that for her too—both Lila and I—she’d gone back. And she was thriving. “That’s what she told me, especially the mechanical engineering one. And I’m glad you two talk.”

  “Well, duh.” She lined all the veggies up in size order from baby carrots to zucchini, which amused me to no end. “We’re plotting against you.”

  I snort-laughed. “Lovely.”

  I studied my daughter’s too-pale face as she concentrated on chopping the vegetables, maybe with a little more force than was needed, but who was I to stop her from venting her frustrations? She still looked upset, but less so by the time she was done, and I hoped talking about normal things was helping ease the pain of betrayal. I still wanted to hurt Ryan, but if my daughter could deal, so could I.

  “Tell me about work.”

  So I did exactly that as I cooked, including the fact that I’d met Eve before, but excluding the fact that I’d been attracted to her. Though same-sex relationships weren’t any different than hetero relationships to my girls—we knew a lot of people on the LGBTQ rainbow—I wasn’t sure how they would deal with me being attracted to someone not their father, even after four years.

  By the time I was finished talking, dinner was ready. After I said the blessing, we ate.

  Lila took a bite of broccoli. “It sounds like a lot of fun. Will you get grief about not working on Shabbat?”

  “I don’t think so. There may be weekend events, but right now it looks like I’ll take the ones on Sundays. But if I have to, I have to. I’m sure others have to work on days they’d normally be in church or have other obligations.”

  “True.” She swiped a piece of chicken around her barely touched plate. “Mom? Why do they do shit like that?”

  I knew what she meant immediately. “I don’t know why some do, but they don’t all. Dad didn’t. And the good ones will break up with you before they move on. Still painful, but at least they’re not being jerks about it.” I reached out and squeezed her hand. “But if he’s the cheating kind, better you know now than later.”

  “Yeah.” She tore apart a dinner roll, sighed, then set it down. “Pretty sure I’m done with guys for a while. First Ben. Then Ryan.”

  Ben was a kid she’d known since preschool at the synagogue, and they’d dated on and off through high school. They’d been prom dates, but I’d never seen them really click. “Oh, honey. The right guy is out there for you, somewhere, and there’s no hurry. I want you to have fun before you settle down, anyway. Travel, do what you want to do before the responsibility of kids and mortgages. Speaking of which, where are you and Tee and Yas going for vacation this year?”

  She brightened slightly. “One of the Comic-Cons. We’re still trying to figure out which. Maybe San Diego. There’s a lot to do there outside the con too.”

  I had to laugh. These girls—women, yes, but always girls to me since I’d known them forever—had been crazy over comic books and action movies based off of them for as long as I could remember. “Sounds like a great idea.”

  Not long after we finished, she headed home because her work day started early. Mine would too, and I found myself looking forward to it, to being at work.

  To seeing Eve.

  While I loaded the dishwasher, I gave myself a stern talking-to about keeping things with Eve purely professional. When I was done with both the dishes and the lecture, I locked up and went upstairs. I’d taken the night off from the class that I taught at the synagogue, because I’d figured I’d be exhausted after my first day. It had been a good decision.

  I stepped into my bedroom. This past spring, I’d decided it was time for me to move on, but I’d cried ugly tears as I’d covered over the blue walls Seth and I had painted together ten years earlier. The weekend we’d done it, the girls had been away on some scout trip, and we’d had the house to ourselves. We’d gotten so much paint on us that we’d shucked our clothes and had wound up making love on the drop cloth–covered carpet. I’d had a blue handprint on my ass that had lasted for weeks.

  Painting the room had been painful but cathartic. The walls were now a light lavender, a color Seth had hated but I loved. I wouldn’t say the room was frilly, but I’d definitely added more feminine touches to it. I’d treated myself to new furniture too, moving our old things to the room that had been the girls’ playroom. It was a big space, nice for my parents to stay in when they came north from Florida to visit.

  As always, when I dropped my jewelry onto the dresser, I touched Seth’s picture. I missed him every damn day, and probably always would, even if I found someone else. Twenty-three years was a lot of time together, and sometimes it was still hard to believe he was gone. He’d been my other half, and I’d been devastated by his death. But he was gone, and I wasn’t. I didn’t think he’d begrudge me finding someone to fill my days and nights, someone to share my thoughts and hopes and dreams with.

  After a quick call with Rissa, who asked me if we could talk another night since she was studying for an exam, I got ready for bed, grabbed my Kindle, and settled in with my favorite mystery writer.

  I woke just as the alarm went off, which was nothing short of a miracle. Usually it took me several smacks of the Snooze button to get my ass out of bed. Which explained why I had said ass, probably. When the girls had been little, I’d risen early and run with two of the other moms on the block while our husbands had gotten the kids ready for school, but it had been years since I’d run. Was I really considering starting again, running with Eve before work?

  Maybe, but not today. I’d have to set my alarm even earlier than this, and I had to build up to that.

  Since I had my credentials and could use the employee door now, I left my belly button ring in. Getting it had been one of those spur-of-the-moment things I’d done after Seth died, egged on by my girls after I’d admitted that I thought they were cool. It had hurt like a son of a bitch and taken forever to heal, but I loved it.

  I showered, then dressed for work—khakis and scoop-neck thin sweater—and headed down to the kitchen. It only took me fifteen minutes to get to the police station, so I drank a cup of coffee before pouring myself a second in a travel mug.

  When I got to the office, it was still early. I didn’t start until eight, and it wasn’t quite seven thirty. I noticed Eve’s computer was already on, and my pulse tripped.

  We talked about this, remember? Boss. Off-limits.

  I got my session started, then checked the office email account. It had been empty when I’d left at five. And now there were twenty messages. Goodness.

  I opened up each and, if I could, provided the information Eve had shown me yesterday. By the time I’d gone through all of them, there were only five that would take more knowledge than I’d learned in my first day at work.

  “You’re here early.”

  I jumped, my heart thudding. “I . . . Yeah.” That was all I could manage t
o spit out, because she’d obviously just come in from a run. Her face glistened with sweat, and the thin jacket she wore over running tights and a sports bra did nothing to hide the fact that it was, indeed, colder outside than it looked. I dragged my gaze up her lean body and flushed as amusement flashed in her bright eyes. I cleared my throat and forced myself to focus. “I thought I’d get started on the overnight requests so we had time for you to show me some other things I could maybe take off your plate.”

  Her amusement turned to speculation, and then approval. “You’re my kind of people, Talia Wasserman. Thank you. Give me a few minutes to clean up, and we can get started.”

  True to her word, she was back in fifteen minutes, in uniform, her hair smoothed into a neat twist, a light gloss on her lips. She held a steaming mug of tea in her hand.

  As she pulled her chair up and sat, I smelled apples and cinnamon. I didn’t know if it was her tea or whatever she’d used in the shower but—stop thinking about it, Talia.

  “I wasn’t sure what to do with these.” I pointedly ignored my libido and opened up the first email. “This one isn’t a Community Relations request. It sounds like they have a problem with an investigation.”

  “Forward it to me, and I’ll look up the case to see who’s handling it. If you get these, send them to me. I can’t get you access to that system since that’s active casework and not public information.”

  “No problem. I just needed to know how to handle it.” I pulled up the next one. “This one was a little . . .” I paused, considered my words. “Off, maybe? I couldn’t put my finger on it. Not a threat, exactly. But weird phrasing. Lady cops should be careful out there.”

  She leaned forward, read it, and then frowned. “Good intuition. We’ve gotten a couple like this one, and from the same IP address. One of them specifically mentioned the promenade along the creek where the upcoming street festival is being held. Delia Butler is the detective handling the investigation. Forward anything like them to her and copy me. The festival is only a few weeks away. We’ll have a large presence there, but she and I are trying to get to the bottom of it before then. Any odd phone calls or emails or regular mail that implies a threat or a disturbance for that event, let me and Delia know ASAP. Even if there’s no direct threat but it feels off to you.”